February 5th

On February 5th, 2015 at 7:49 a.m. my life was forever changed.

You're given 9 months to prepare for your baby to enter the world. Which, you know, sounds like plenty of time. 9 months should give you time to a) prepare yourself mentally for the fact that you are about to be responsible for a life other than your own. b) get all of the things you need to take care of that little one (and the things you don't really need but think you need because Pinterest and all the mommy blogs say so...) And c) turn your home into a baby friendly environment & completely change your life to accommodate the little one and all their wants & needs.

I found that 9 months was not enough time for any of that...I don't know if there is enough time in the world for all of that. 9 months came and went in the blink of an eye. And on the morning of February 5th I was so thankful for the swift passing of time because in that moment I couldn't imagine living another minute without my sweet little boy.

The delivery was not at all, in the slightest, even a tiny bit how I imagined or prepared myself for it to go. I was induced on Wednesday night due to concerns with the amount of nutrients the baby was receiving because of lack of growth in the last few weeks of pregnancy. The doctor notified me of the plans to induce Monday, my angel of a mother arrived Tuesday, and I was in the hospital Wednesday! It was a little crazy how quickly everything happened. 

 There was something about being induced that made me feel safe because I thought it would mean that there was more control over the delivery and that everything would go smoothly and as the doctor and myself had planned. But as soon as the induction began things moved so quickly that any and all plans (besides delivering the baby) were out the window. One of which including an epidural...which looking back (obviously not in the moment) was a wonderful thing. To have gone through this experience with my sweet husband was amazing. I'll be honest, my entire labor and delivery--kind of a blur (whether that is by subconscious choice to erase the memory of the pain or just the nature of child birth.) But the things that I do remember clear as day are my sweet husband, through teary eyes, holding my hand tight, telling me how much and he loved me and lovingly coaching me through it & the feeling of holding my baby boy for the first time with a heart full of love and gratitude for the sweet little spirit God sent to me. 

Today, Van is 1 month old. It has been 1 month since the happiest day of my life. 

And every day after has been just as happy. In Van's first month he spent 1 week in the NICU where he made friends with all the nurses and taught mom and dad a lesson in patience as they anxiously waited to bring him home. That week was the longest of my life. Having a child in the NICU is one of the worst feelings in the world. I'll be honest-- it felt more like a week long parenting class given by the nurses. Which was both a wonderful and obnoxious experience. 

Following that long week, Van came home and has been the center of our world since. 

Van loves to go for walks, dance around the house and play with mom & dad, cuddle, take baths, and eat...non-stop.

I am absolutely certain that there is no job more rewarding than that of being a mother. (I am also absolutely certain there is no job more demanding!) And there is no one in the world I would rather raise this boy with than Dave. To watch him with Van just melts my heart. His love for that boy is evident in everything he does. The three of us have all grown so much in this past month. February 5th will forever be one of my favorite days. I can't wait to see what the future holds for our little family & all of the adventures that await us.